It has been a ridiculously long time since I wrote.
I'm sorry if this is just an explosion of words and emotions. I have a lot to get out.
At the same time, I'm holding in a lot that I don't feel would be professionally appropriate to divulge.
Let it be said that I have been having an INCREDIBLY difficult time this year. I know last year was tough because I was new and everything was an experiment. This year, I'm in a new school again, everything is still and experiment, and now, to top it all off, I'm having some difficulties working with my grade level team.
It really is amazing how important a common understanding of something is. I have my definition of collaboration and what is expected of a team; they have a completely different understanding of what we should be doing as a team. So, needless to say, it has made my job sooooo much harder.
Today was an especially terrible day because of this. We had a meeting this morning and I honestly said my opinion and felt attacked afterwards. :( I wanted to cry. Instead, I went to the bathroom, gave myself a little peptalk in the mirror, and went into my classroom to start teaching. It was a tough day, no doubt about that. Some of my other coworkers (the ones in my interdisciplinary team; the ones I have really connected with; the ones who give me the encouragement and support I need).. yeah, those ones, they knew I was having a rough time. During 7th period, my last class of the day, all of a sudden both the History teacher's class and the Science teacher's class come in with all the kids I teach in the afternoon. They sang me "Happy Birthday" and (I can't believe I am admitting this) I totally teared up. I know my kids saw my tears, but I think that's ok for them to see me emotional sometimes over a good things. I was just so touched. As they left, the history teacher hugged me and whispered, "This is what we do it for." Oh man, I'm crying right now as I write this. It was such an incredible way to end a day that really could have gotten me down.
Yes, I still have plenty of battles to face with my 8th grade English team. Oh boy, I don't even want to think about all the things I am going to have to deal with in the next few months with them. But I know if I keep it in perspective, it I remember the real "why" of why I chose this profession, if I keep the supportive administrators and teachers close by, then I will be able to survive this year and feel successful at the end of it all.
One thing's for sure, I am NOT going to back down on what I know is right!
