Easy!? Hahaha, yeah right!

I think the worst thing to experience is a day you expect to be easy and then it turns out to be a lot of work. That was my Friday. I'd originally thought to myself, "Oh, my kids are just taking a test and then they are silently reading the rest of the class period. I don't have to do anything!"  Yay. 

Seriously, my lesson plan was about a 1/2 a page in length and consisted in reminding them of any homework over the weekend and how the test was set up. That's it. 

Easy day......or so I thought.

Easy day, that is, until first period when I pulled out one of my students with an IEP (individualized education plan) so that I could read her the test in the hallway. Just then, one of the special education kids down the hall was having a temper tantrum and screaming "F*** you! Mom, your such a B****." While his teacher and the administrator had confined him to an empty classroom (right across the hall from my classroom, I might add) you could still here his colorful language and see his not-so-appropriate hand gestures from the classroom window. Needless to say, it was difficult to help my student focus. I helped out her as much as I could, reading the questions out loud to her and letting her answer verbally before writing things down, but I'm not sure how successful I was, given the circumstances. 

Easy day, that is, until I was bombarded with complaints of "Ms. Mayans, this was too much material to study in one night." (I had given them a study guide on Tuesday and we had even filled it out together. One night to study?! Yeah right). "Ms. Mayans, I wasn't here when you talked about theme so I shouldn't get this question wrong." (Once again, this boy was talking about when we reviewed theme on Tuesday, but he had been here for the 2 full days of lessons on the subject. And, of course, he had all week to ask me questions if he hadn't understood something). "Teacher, this isn't fair. All of my teachers are giving tests today: English, math, science..." I think the thing that really bothered me can be summed up in the statement given by the vice principal: "It can be frustrating when you are working harder for them to succeed than they are for themselves." Truth! I honestly feel like I gave them every tool for success. Good and memorable lessons, practice, a study guide we worked on as a class (with practically all the answers), review after review after review, extra study guides on the class website to print out, an email to both students and parents to warn them about the upcoming test, reminders, making them write it in their planners, and always offering extra help if anyone needed it. Yes, I can sit back and know that I have done my part. 

So then why did I cry after school? After talking to my mom about it, I think I can probably relate it to the same feelings I had on my mission. While a missionary (or any kind of teacher) can work so hard for someone to understand something, it is ultimately up to the investigator/student to do the work for themselves and internalize what has been taught. Agency, which usually we discuss as a good thing, can be so frustrating sometimes!

Today was supposed to be easy!

Easy day, that is, until I caught someone cheating on my test. It wasn't even discreet! It went something like this:

-Ms. Mayans: "Ok, when I had out the test, there is no talking. If you are talking or even making ooglie eyes at someone, I will assume you are cheating and I will take away your test and give you an F. This is a closed book, closed notes, closed neighbor test."

-hands out tests and students start working.

-Ms. Mayans notices student X, who sits in the very front and center of the room, looking at his hand while writing something down on his test.

-Ms. Mayans: "Student X, what do you have written on your hand?"

-Student X: "The answer. But I wrote it there before you gave out the tests!"

-Ms Mayans: (not believing that a student could be that....should I even say it?....dumb) "Go wash your hand right now! That is 100% cheating!" 

-While student is gone, Ms. Mayans writes a zero on that test questions. It is literally the first question and sooo easy!

-Student X returns to the room and looks at his test: "What?! Why did I get a zero on this question?"

Sigh....so now you understand why my "easy" day was not so easy.

But, let us not end on a bad note. Here are some things that cheered me up when I was feeling drained:

• A few days ago, while talking about protagonist and antagonist, I used movie examples like Batman, The Lion King, and Tangled. I confessed to my students that my roommates want me to be Mother Gothel (from Tangled) for Halloween because I know her entire song "Mother Knows Best." One student looked up at me and said, "You're not THAT mean!"   hahahaha, I seriously laughed out loud. I couldn't help myself.
• After grading a few of the tests last night, I am happy to say that at least a few students got A's on the test. Yay for kids who study!
• I will be teaching commonly confused words on Monday and found this pretty funny blog about people writing "alot" instead of "a lot." Enjoy! hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

Reflecting on the week

I love Saturday mornings. They are the only mornings that allow me to sleep in...until barely 8:30. Ugh, darn school schedule makes it impossible for me to sleep in later than that, but it is nice to just wake up naturally and stay in bed for a few hours. I catch up on my reading, maybe some grading, and of course a little reflecting on what I have learned in the past week.

This week was parent-teacher conference. From 3:15 till 7:30, I sat in the cafeteria with all the other teacher, waiting for my students and their parents to come over and talk to me. Out of 87 students, 48 parents came. That is a pretty good ratio, especially since I was advised by other teachers and administrators not to expect more than 40% of parents to come. In the 4 hours, I hardly got a moment's rest. While I had been scared before the conferencing started, I quickly realized that most parents are on my side. Most of them supported my classroom management and grading choices. They were able to see how their student had earned the grade they had according to the effort they had put in.   **Sigh**   What a relief! There was only one mom who acted like I was the culprit for her son's bad grades. "My son is getting A's in all his other classes; why are you giving him a D?!"    Hm, while her son loves to read, unfortunately you can't just read to earn an A in my class. Oh well, 1 out of 48 is pretty good.

I also had an epiphany while in my 8th period class. There I was, getting all frustrated and upset once again that they were talking non-stop. Without even realizing what I was saying, I said, "Why wont you guys stop talking!?" From somewhere in the room, some snarky student replied, "Because you react."   **Lightbulb moment!**   As soon as he said that I realized something: the consequence for my students talking and being disruptive should not be more stress for me. No, no, no. The consequence should effect them, not me. I am in control and need to make sure they feel the consequence, not me. So, I have changed my tactic. Instead of getting upset, I'm either going to give them a pop quiz that will probably hurt their grade, or I am just going to give them less time to finish something. For example, yesterday they were talking while I was explaining the creative writing assignment. I didn't get upset, I just waited, and I warned them that they were taking away their own time to work and that the expectation for them to write a full page and a half was still there. While the other classes had gotten a full 30 minutes to work on it, they only got 20 because they had wasted time with talking. I am hoping that this idea works better, because I cant afford to get stress wrinkle on my forehead just from this one class.

And of course, I have some simple pleasures from the week:

• Honestly, I love my job. Of course it is stressful. And it is always interesting working with other people's kids. But I feel blessed to have found something I am good at and love doing. 
• Yesterday, one of my students came up to me and told me he had written a poem. IT WAS A LOVE POEM! Talk about ridiculously cute and....ridiculous! :)   It was actually pretty good for being a 12 year-old's perspective of love.
• Another one of my students sent me an email that contained the "first chapter" of a book he is writing. I wont go into detail about it (incase any of you try to sneak his budding, creative genius), but I will inform you that it has Mr. Hamburger as the protagonist. Yes....
• We started a new book project for the term, and it seems that my students are pretty excited about it. Some of the girls in my 7th and 8th period class even decided to stay in from their 5 minute break to come talk to me about books. Yay!

What am I doing wrong?

I have had two moms come and tell me this week that their child thinks I hate them....What am I doing wrong?! :(

This has been a really, really, really hard week and I am so emotionally drained right now; I'm not sure what else to do besides just sit and sob.

Sometimes I feel that I am not wired to be a 7th grade teacher.....these kids still expect someone like their elementary teacher, and I am just not like that. I have too much on my plate to be able to walk them through everything and coddle them. I dont feel like I am being mean. I feel like I am trying to be fair in my teaching and disciplining, and I feel like I am a fun, outgoing teacher.

So then why do I feel like I am failing miserably?  :(

Remembering with Emotion

Today was just one of those days that you sigh and say to yourself, "Yes! I can do this!"

Being September 11th, I decided to start out the class period with a little memorial video and music. I talked to my kids about my experiences during Sept 11, 2001 and how it impacted my life. I then gave them some time to write in their writer's notebook about a time/experience they might have had that has changed their outlook on life.

(Basically I wanted them to think of something emotional that changed their lives)...This was all in anticipation for our lesson on The Great Depression. And boy, did it work!

One of the hard things about teaching is finding a way to make your kids care about what they are learning. Whether it is history or grammar, I truly believe that lessons will be more enjoyable and stick better if kids feel invested in some way.

So this prewriting stuff was to help them imagine how people during the Great Depression felt when all of a sudden things went terribly wrong. We then had a gallery walk. I had photos from the Great Depression on all my walls and music from the time period playing in the background. My students went around looking at the pictures and reading the little informational clips. They then filled out a worksheet and wrote about which 3 pictures they liked the most and why. It was a really good lesson (if i do say so myself).

Ok, but every lesson has to have something that goes wrong. In my last class, as I was having them write about their life changing experiences, I had some more emotion than I had seen all day. One girl was crying (I had anticipated her getting emotional because her dad died about a year ago. I was pretty sure this writing prompt would lead her to write about that). What I was unprepared for, however, were 2 other girls bursting into tears as they shared with the class what experiences they had written about (PS: I didn't force anyone to share. I knew this was very personal, so I allowed people the opportunity to share without feeling obligated). At the end of class I felt so bad. Had I emotionally manipulated my kids? Did I do something bad/wrong by making them think of these hard things. Honestly, I just wanted to help them feel a connection to history, but I wondered if I had gone to far.

But....thinking about it.... I think I'm ok. :) So all in all, it was a pretty good day.

Just a good day, Lots of interest

        Today was a great day. I think I have been focusing so much on everything I am not good at that I have forgotten to enjoy all the little successes I have be experiencing as well. My first period class was totally off task from the very beginning of the period, so I made them leave my classroom and try starting the period over again. It worked better the second time. My fifth period class, same thing. But when my seventh period class came in ( you know, the crazy class), they all knew how serious I was about being quiet and starting class on a good note. When the bell rang, the class was quiet and working on their starter. I just had to sigh and smile to myself. :) Success!

      I really enjoyed teaching today. We discussed theme again (after looking at their homework and realizing that most of my students hadn't understood theme at all, I decided a second day was necessary). Well, today was better. I read The Giving Tree to them (and choked up every time I read it) and we discussed what the message was. Then we reread "Casey at the Bat" and analyzed each stanza to extract the meaning and feeling of the poem. The kids ate it up! Even the boys who never participate and act too cool were totally interested in the poem. There was discussion, there text-to-self connections, there was emotion, there was interest....I LOVED IT! And there was great classroom management from the simple fact that everyone was engaged. It was just one of those days that you examine afterwards and say, "Yes, I am a good teacher."

       But....I must admit that I am very happy for the weekend. Yay! Time for a rest. :)

Assessment

In case any of you are wondering, TEACHING IS HARD! But...I'm still loving it!

     This week....tests, tests, and more tests. My students have had to take the DRP (degrees of reading power) district test, and then tomorrow they have to take the STAR school reading level test. While these tests do allow me some breathing time, they also take away a lot of my teaching time. This and last week, we have been learning elements of fiction (setting, characterization, conflict, plot, and theme). Today was theme....which is sooooo difficult to teach.
     Assessment, I've found, is really difficult. It's not enough just to teach a good lesson. No, none of that matters if students dont internalize the information and successfully demonstrate that they understand. Then you through in all the variables (English Language Learners, students with learning disabilities and Individualized Education Plans, outside distractions, time/effectiveness of the lesson) and hope for the best.
      Today we had a staff meeting and we talked about FLEX (a 20 min period on Tuesdays and Thursdays for students who need extra help). Well, I think my Flex time will be very very busy because half of my kids are failing my class. This depresses me :( Mostly, it comes down to the fact that a lot of them do not turn in assignments. I haven't even given them very much homework, yet they still manage to procrastinate that little bit.
      Well, I swear I'm not a complainer. I actually really do enjoy being around my students. I have a lot of kids who come in early and talk. After lunch, I have a line of kids waiting outside my door to come in for class. We have fun laughing together (mostly they laugh at me, but I'm ok with that).