Seriously, my lesson plan was about a 1/2 a page in length and consisted in reminding them of any homework over the weekend and how the test was set up. That's it.
Easy day......or so I thought.
Easy day, that is, until first period when I pulled out one of my students with an IEP (individualized education plan) so that I could read her the test in the hallway. Just then, one of the special education kids down the hall was having a temper tantrum and screaming "F*** you! Mom, your such a B****." While his teacher and the administrator had confined him to an empty classroom (right across the hall from my classroom, I might add) you could still here his colorful language and see his not-so-appropriate hand gestures from the classroom window. Needless to say, it was difficult to help my student focus. I helped out her as much as I could, reading the questions out loud to her and letting her answer verbally before writing things down, but I'm not sure how successful I was, given the circumstances.
Easy day, that is, until I was bombarded with complaints of "Ms. Mayans, this was too much material to study in one night." (I had given them a study guide on Tuesday and we had even filled it out together. One night to study?! Yeah right). "Ms. Mayans, I wasn't here when you talked about theme so I shouldn't get this question wrong." (Once again, this boy was talking about when we reviewed theme on Tuesday, but he had been here for the 2 full days of lessons on the subject. And, of course, he had all week to ask me questions if he hadn't understood something). "Teacher, this isn't fair. All of my teachers are giving tests today: English, math, science..." I think the thing that really bothered me can be summed up in the statement given by the vice principal: "It can be frustrating when you are working harder for them to succeed than they are for themselves." Truth! I honestly feel like I gave them every tool for success. Good and memorable lessons, practice, a study guide we worked on as a class (with practically all the answers), review after review after review, extra study guides on the class website to print out, an email to both students and parents to warn them about the upcoming test, reminders, making them write it in their planners, and always offering extra help if anyone needed it. Yes, I can sit back and know that I have done my part.
So then why did I cry after school? After talking to my mom about it, I think I can probably relate it to the same feelings I had on my mission. While a missionary (or any kind of teacher) can work so hard for someone to understand something, it is ultimately up to the investigator/student to do the work for themselves and internalize what has been taught. Agency, which usually we discuss as a good thing, can be so frustrating sometimes!
Today was supposed to be easy!
Easy day, that is, until I caught someone cheating on my test. It wasn't even discreet! It went something like this:
-Ms. Mayans: "Ok, when I had out the test, there is no talking. If you are talking or even making ooglie eyes at someone, I will assume you are cheating and I will take away your test and give you an F. This is a closed book, closed notes, closed neighbor test."
-hands out tests and students start working.
-Ms. Mayans notices student X, who sits in the very front and center of the room, looking at his hand while writing something down on his test.
-Ms. Mayans: "Student X, what do you have written on your hand?"
-Student X: "The answer. But I wrote it there before you gave out the tests!"
-Ms Mayans: (not believing that a student could be that....should I even say it?....dumb) "Go wash your hand right now! That is 100% cheating!"
-While student is gone, Ms. Mayans writes a zero on that test questions. It is literally the first question and sooo easy!
-Student X returns to the room and looks at his test: "What?! Why did I get a zero on this question?"
Sigh....so now you understand why my "easy" day was not so easy.
But, let us not end on a bad note. Here are some things that cheered me up when I was feeling drained:
- A few days ago, while talking about protagonist and antagonist, I used movie examples like Batman, The Lion King, and Tangled. I confessed to my students that my roommates want me to be Mother Gothel (from Tangled) for Halloween because I know her entire song "Mother Knows Best." One student looked up at me and said, "You're not THAT mean!" hahahaha, I seriously laughed out loud. I couldn't help myself.
- After grading a few of the tests last night, I am happy to say that at least a few students got A's on the test. Yay for kids who study!
- I will be teaching commonly confused words on Monday and found this pretty funny blog about people writing "alot" instead of "a lot." Enjoy! hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com
I think your principal summed it up best with the idea that as a teacher you do, in fact, often work harder to get students to succeed than the students themselves.
ReplyDeleteThis and other experiences have caused me to think a lot about the role of agency in teaching and learning. Neil J. Flinders wrote "In its earliest usage, the words teach meant to show the way, point out, offer to view, or guide. The object emphasized was the teacher, the one doing the showing. By direct inference he was to posses or to be what the student was expected to possess or become. The role of the teacher was to show the way and then it was up to the student to accept it or reject it. Teaching could occur whether or not the student chose to accept or assimilate..."
Whether it's students who won't take responsibility for their learning, who won't study or who have developed a sense of learned helplessness from academic failure after failure, can we teach them to be agents in their own learning? If so, How do we teach this?